Canadian Shark Movies and YOU!
Hi, MD fam. First off, let me start by typing, “O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love thou dost in us command.” Second, I’ll just shout it in all caps, “CANADIAN SHARK MOVIES RULE.”
YUP. That’s what you’re going to spend the next 2-3 (maybe 5 if you’re really stoned) minutes reading about. Canadian shark movies.
My name is Nick and I like movies. The more doused in cheese, the better. But I was taken aback when I stepped into the wonderful mind of Brett Kelly. I dove into (2) movies of his over the past few weeks – curling up to Ouija Shark and Jurassic Shark. My life is forever changed.
Not fishing here for attention, but I co-host a podcast about rad, campy slasher/horror films from back in the day – but sometimes you must jump the shark and get out of your comfort zone. That’s why we’ll dabble in movies (if we think they’re worth it – and yes, the Hatchet series was worth it) that swim in today’s waters. So, we thought it was “aboot” time we honored Shark Week by watching two of the raddest shark movies ever made.
Ouija Shark was an easy journey into the Wiccan world of water. A shark is summoned from the depth of evil to wreak havoc on a small Canadian suburb. Side note: Poor Donna, just wants to get high; even offers the shark some hits off her joint – he takes a sniff-CHOMP! Later, Barbara.
Say no to weed, kids–or shitty weed. Read into it however you want.
Jurassic Shark is a journey through the minds and emotions of two different groups who represent good and evil. The shark plays the role of the soul - human aura – a representation of the step taken–towards a righteous path of self-awareness or a sickly advancement towards chaos. I was intrigued to find that in the end, both paths eventually intertwine and connect. It’s up to the one holding the hook in the end, because it’s their fish to catch.
While I know these flicks might not be everyone’s cup of salt water, I can tell you this; Jordan Peele could learn a few things by watching these movies.
I recently saw NOPE and I know I’m not going to win any fans with this statement, but I was all like, “Huh? Wha?” when I was leaving the theater. And before you start getting all cinephile-y on me, just read on and give me a minute.
Canadian shark movies take the audience on an adventure through the waters of reflection. What does it mean to be alive, what does it mean to manifest sharks from the beyond or from the walls of ice? That’s deep (pun intended).
NOPE just made me think that a really cool box of Kleenex was terrorizing a few horses. I get it. Spectacle films. Get the audience to think, “Wow. Awesome. I gotta blow my nose.” I also get that it’s a nod to all the old sci-fi alien movies from the past – but I would still think that mystical floating Kleenex boxes (or rocks really good for skipping before it turns into a box of tissue) would be seen from miles away. “Hey, Pa. Did you see that rock with a mouth in the sky? I think it ate a horse.” “Nah, son. Now you get back to making that meth.”
We’re all creatives. We all have opinions about what art means to US (see what I did there).
I know Mr. Peele is on his way to a stellar career in film…heck, he’s already there. But I think we all could step into the shallow waters of Canadian shark films and learn about the manifestations of what a “stellar film” truly is and what we can do to continue to push the boundaries of great cinematic juxtapositions. Simply put, Brett Kelley is the Canadian Jordan Peele, eh?
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