SPOILER-FREE REVIEW: LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE - 'CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2023)'
Via RLJE Films and Shudder.
As horror fans, we cannot escape the simultaneous curse and blessing that is the horror franchise. From HALLOWEEN, to PHANTASM, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, and hell, even the EVIL BONG series (there’s four of those, by the way), horror franchises can be a dicey subject for fans, as their very existence is primarily predicated on the fact that these movies have built-in fan bases that studios can readily exploit for a quick profit. Now that I have my inherit cynicism out of the way, I will say that franchises are a great personality litmus test. You like the HALLOWEEN franchise? Oh, JUST the Zombie ones? Interesting…
What a person loves about a particular horror franchise can be extremely telling. Though someone may be a devotees, they will also admit not all the films in that franchise are good.. It can be easy to write a franchise off after a string of bad entries (I’m looking at you, HELLRAISER: DEADER, HELLRAISER: HELLSEEKER, HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD, HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS - you get the idea). But sometimes a sequel or a remake can enliven the franchise and bring a whole new world of storytelling into it.
That being said, I confess I don’t know many people who would say that they are fans of the CHILDREN OF THE CORN franchise (which has a whopping ELEVEN movies to its name). It’s a shame this franchise hasn’t been able to find its groove after the original entry, which was based upon a popular Stephen King novel. That original 1984 film, which starred Linda Hamilton, Courtney Gaines, and Peter Horton, was a chilling slice of American Gothic life in rural Nebraska, where the disenfranchised youths of the town turn against the adults in command of a supernatural entity called “He Who Walks Between the Rows” and a charismatic (and age-ambiguous) religious leader of the children named Issac. Though not a perfect film, it was able to resonate with audiences due to the strong, scenery-chewing performance of Gaines and John Franklin, and the inherent terror and chilling thrill of watching little kids slice and dice adults.
Via RLJE Films and Shudder.
With Director Kurt Wimmer‘s new take on King‘s horror novel, CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2023), hitting theaters March 3 (in an 18-day theatrical run) and March 21 (On Demand and Digital) from RLJE Films and Shudder, the franchise is looking to let horror fans know that it’s not down for the count yet.
Described as a “chilling new re-telling” of the Stephen King story, CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2023) focuses on a new, rosy-cheeked and pigtailed antagonist named Eden (Kate Moyer), who survived a tragic accidental massacre at the hands of several adult authority figures in the town of Rylstone, Nebraska. After the horrific event, she proceeds to rally the kids in the town against the adults and serve a sinister presence in the cornfields she calls “He Who Walks.” However, a teen resident named Boleyn (Elena Kampouris) resists Eden’s antics by risking her life, and the lives of others in an attempt to stop Eden and save their town.
The film unfolds much in the way you would expect from a CHILDREN OF THE CORN movie would: a mass opening killing (made more tragic in this re-telling), and a poverty-stricken town on the brink. We discover the corn is bad due to “big corn” coming in and spraying it with herbicides and pesticides, and the adults are just as rotten as that corn too. They are abusive, dismissive, and downright indifferent to the children of Rylstone. Speaking of bad corn, early in the film, Boylen (who’s leaving to study microbiology in Boston) and her brother Cecil (Jayden McGinlay) discuss the possible connection of rotten crops to the events of the Salem Witch Trials (essentially, a 1976 theory by Linnda Caporael suggested the first evidence that the Salem witch trials followed an outbreak of rye fungus blight called ergot, that forms hallucinogenic drugs in bread).
Via RLJE Films and Shudder.
Witches aside, the town is in dire straits and the town leaders need to decide whether or not to accept a government offer to try and help save Rylstone. The children of the town, particularly Eden, are against the outside interference, as that’s what they believe got them to this horrible state in the first place, but they are shouted down and laughed at by the adults. And much like Steve Martin’s con-man preacher in LEAP OF FAITH, Eden proceeds to go spread her flim-flam message of taking out the adults of Rylstone in servitude of an ominous corn-field-inhabiting entity to the underage masses.
What follows is a methodical, and bloody systematic elimination of the “okay boomer” crowd, featuring hangings, mass gassings, and slashings galore. If gore is your game, CHILDREN OF THE CORN aims to bring it in unflinching, and disturbing ways. The film seeks to play with a straightforward approach, and for the most part, it does succeed. The kids, though obviously enjoying their newfound power, don’t see their endeavors as some kind of fun game. They are serious about what they are doing and carry out their bloody executions to a chilling effect that are well beyond their innocent years.
At the head of all of this is a fantastic performance by Kate Moyer, who plays Eden to fabulous, villainous effect. The credibility of the film all hinges on her, and she brings a performance that is at turns, both sassy and terrifying, like a human M3GAN, only without the iconic dance number. Eden sees herself as the Queen of Hearts, as judge, jury, and executioner, running around in a RUN LOLA RUN red wig at turns without a care in her twisted little brain. And even though the Queen of Hearts metaphor is a tad on the heavy handed side, it’s pretty apt. Like the Queen, Eden is a fount of id, all impulse and whim, quick to give death sentences at the slightest offense, her approach to justice being sentence before verdict. Think Greta Thurnberg only chaotic evil. Eden is the kind of girl who would listen to PJ Harvey, Billie Elish, and Hole’s “Pretty On The Inside” album, who would identify with Bellatrix LeStrange and write creepypasta corn fiction. In short, she’s kind of a boss.
Though Moyer’s girlboss, gatekeeping performance, as well as Andrew Rowlands solid cinematography help to elevate the film as a whole, CHILDREN OF THE CORN does stumble on some plot issues and inconsistencies as well as some CGI missteps, which, thankfully, do not dull the overall effect of the film (with the exception of the very last shot, which should just not be in the film, period). There are some reveals that maybe would have benefitted from staying in the shadows of all those dusty, dry stalks, but these are all small tweaks that don’t detract from the fact that CHILDREN OF THE CORN is overall a solid, enjoyable remake. Believe me, as a big detractor of the remake craze the horror genre is currently embroiled in, I’m surprised I’m saying that too. I don’t know, maybe after all the terrible remakes I’ve seen, the bar has been set low. Maybe it’s because I’m slightly terrified of all children and believe at any given time, they can actually be capable of wreaking organized, systematic violent havoc against all us adults. But, there IS stuff to enjoy in CHILDREN OF THE CORN, whether you are here for the plentiful kills, the vicarious raging against the machine we all felt we wanted to do when we were kids, anti big-farming messages, or the gleeful villainy of a tween girl in a Victorian dress who wants nothing more than to take it all down. CHILDREN OF THE CORN proves there’s life in this old cornfield yet.
WHERE TO WATCH:
CHILDREN OF THE CORN will be in theaters for an 18-day run starting March 3rd, and then will hit On Demand and Digital on March 21st, courtesy of RLJE Films and Shudder.
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