HOW 'HUBIE HALLOWEEN' HELPED SHAPE THE QANON POLITICAL MOVEMENT (PART TWO OF TWO)

How's it going, dear readers? As promised, here is part two of the series I wrote about; going undercover into the disturbing, yet surprisingly homoerotic, world of QAnon. Side note: If you haven't read the first part of this piece, you can find that here. It's crucial that you read that first to understand the madness that goes into this Hubie/Q cover-up.

Now, where in the hell did I leave off?

OH!

Frank and BeezMoo.

As you know, Frank welcomed me in his mom's basement after I met him at a local Applebee's. I was told he was the main guy in the view of Q and he loved Applebee's. "Something about those darned all-you-can-eat appiteezers," he would later tell me.

Back to the story. After watching Hubie Haloween for the second time (welcome to this author's Guantanamo Bay) and reapplying our Q ritual bandana, I pressed him more on this BeezMoo character, or rather, Beezmoo God. And remember, Frank told me that BeezMoo is more than a poetic God, he's karma, a ritual entity that will dispel any who don't follow the path of the true believer.

I made the mistake of trying to make a joke. "Frank, man. I thought Q believers just spouted off nonsense they read off a republican meme generator while procreating to the sounds of NASCAR engines." Bad move. He slapped me again and questioned my authenticity, my dedication to BeezMoo, and lastly, my appreciation for Hubie Halloween.

After telling him my faith and love were real; he made me prove this by watching the damned movie again (the third time in 6 hours) while tanning my testicles (they say sunning your balls is the real deal and gets you closer to BeezMoo--and Tucker Carlson does it daily. See below).

After completing this penance, Frank seemed satisfied. He patted me on the back, handed me a tequila with a splash of fruit punch, and quietly played the soundtrack to Hubie Halloween and thought it was time I learned about BeezMoo and how he was discovered. and how he has promised eternal life for those who truly believe.

"What is our eternal life?" I asked.

Frank smiled while holding the DVD cover of Hubie Halloween. "Eternal life will be free of all libtards. It will be like living in a Girl's Gone Wild video in a realm that's very similar to Florida. There's an Applebee's on every corner and BeezMoo rules all - alongside their partner Ron DeSantis." (Side note: I guess BeezMoo's pronouns are their/they. I stopped myself from pointing that out).

"Sounds rad," I muttered. Frank eyed me, "Rad is something libtards say." I panicked. "I was just funnin', Frank."

He laughed and took a huge swig of his tequila and fruit punch. "BeezMoo was discovered in Hubie Halloween, ya know," Frank boasted as he wiped his fruit punch covered upper-lip. "Yeah, you remember that scene where Hubie..." Frank started laughing uncontrollably, "that scene where Hubie does that funny voice?" Frank falls to the floor laughing hysterically. "You mean like almost every scene," I asked. Frank wiped away his tears and said, "Don't you get it, every time Hubie looks to the camera and uses that voice, BeezMoo can be seen in the reflection of his eyes."

I quickly ran to the DVD player (Frank can't get Netflix in his basement, his mom won't allow him) and paused the first scene when Adam Sandler does the same regurgitated Waterboy voice. I hit pause, and sure enough, I saw a faint image of what I guess is BeezMoo. Here's a rough drawing.

I kept going through every scene, looking into the eyes of Hubie. Now I see why their manifesto is entitled “The Eyes of Dire.” Creepy. Qanon needed a manifesto. They need a leader. A God. And they think they found it in Hubie Halloween. It's the movie loved by Q. Because it's the only humor that they think is funny. Why? Well, this author has a theory. Because they're dumb as fuck. Period. The only other movie that seemed to love watching is a documentary about how Marjorie Taylor Greene ended up with 16 toes. And that's how Hubie Halloween helped shape the QAnon political movement.

Frank stood up and finished his drink. He suggested we head over to the local Applebee's and get a few $1 Long Island Ice Teas. I declined. I had to find a reason to get the fuck up out of there. I told him I wanted to pick up a few burgers from Dairy Queen and retreat to my trailer and study the Q movement a little more. Frank slapped me on the back, groped my ass, and said, "Atta, boy."

I hopped on my Razr scooter (I have to keep up appearances with Q) and took off. Went back to my hotel, put my notes together, and flew back to reality.

And there it is. What a ride, huh?

Be sure to stay tuned to my next piece:

Dimension Films is Moving Forward with Their Next Slasher Series: The Fox News Massacre: We vote red because we bleed red.

Stay up to date with “The Dark Side Of Pop Culture” by following MacabreDaily on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.