"MASSACRE AT FEMUR CREEK" (2024): A Comedic Slasher That Will Leave You In Pieces (REVIEW)

Images provided by Kyle Hytonen

Slasher films are such a diverse subgenre of horror, being that there are so many settings and plotlines to culminate a good story. Not to sound biased, but some of the best (and our favorite) slashers came from campy 80’s horror films. Taking inspiration from that era, indie-film director/producer Kyle Hytonen is releasing his feature film “MASSACRE AT FEMUR CREEK.” Kyle noted this film as being “A low-budget retro 80’s backwoods slasher bloodbath” and we were sold right away.

A special screening of the film will be held on April 16th at Cineplex Cinemas for National Canadian Film day, and is set to release on Blu-ray in North America through distribution with SRS Cinema.

Synopsis:

The year is 1988 and soon to be groom Patrick (Adam Lemieux) is en route to celebrate his bachelor party put on by his childhood friends. Hesitant, his best man Teddy (Eric De Santis) insists that they’re going to have a great time. When they arrive at their old stomping grounds, Femur Creek; they find themselves in the midst of a fight for their life against a masked killer who recently escaped from a mental asylum.

Thoughts and Highlights:

For starters, the blend of comedy in this essentially slasher flick worked and was actually funny. Sometimes the satirical element can tend to be overbearing and not fit with the narrative, but it was refreshing to see that this wasn’t the case with Massacre At Femur Creek. All of the cast played off each other well and added authenticity to the scripting. The addition of Trinity (Cassidy Lawson) being hired as a “park ranger” stripper for the bachelor party was not only funny but added a different tone to the storyline; introducing Teddy and Trinity’s budding romance. What brings two people closer together than a crazed lunatic stalking you in the middle of the woods?

Speaking of crazed lunatics, let’s talk about our mysterious man of the hour; “The Shape” (John Migliore.) Without having any lines in the film (similar to another masked killer we know who occasionally goes by the same name) Migliore was still able to portray a diverse character that was full of emotion, expressed through his actions and demeanor. Referring to one scene in specific that also happens to be one of our favorite kills, we see this emotion come to light.

Images provided by Kyle Hytonen

We see a man painting in the middle of the woods of Femur Creek, Bob Ross style. The Shape is watching from across the creek, peering at him from behind a tree. Suddenly, he appears directly behind the man and his painting. As he slashes him on his backside, blood platters on the canvas and we can see what he was painting. To his surprise, the man was actually painting him. It seems as if The Shape felt remorseful for killing him after he took the time to turn him into a work of art, all while he was eerily stalking him.

Massacre At Femur Creek was filmed on site in Ontario, Canada. Living in the US, it’s nice to see different foliage and landscapes than the ones we’re generally used to. The forest makes for a great horror movie setting in general, but when it’s shot fully outdoors and without added set pieces, it seemingly heightens the watching experience. That being said, we thought the cinematography was wonderfully done and was one of our favorite aspects of this film.

Images provided by Kyle Hytonen

The opening sequence was peak comedy horror at its finest and can’t go without being mentioned. We see a good-looking, young blonde woman hitchhiking down the side of a desolate highway as cars keep passing her by. She can be seen holding a sign that says “To Cherry Hill And Love” and on the back the words “Fu** You!” for those who don’t stop. In desperate attempts, she flashes her breasts at the next car that passes by and they still keep driving.

As she’s walking down the side of the road, we get a first glimpse of our killer. He approaches her and quickly decapitates her with his old rusty knife. Her head goes flying and lands on top of a family’s car that happens to be passing by and the dad brushes it off with the windshield wipers. Rolling into the creek and making its way downstream, we get our title card. Now if that’s not a way to start an 80s-inspired slasher film, I don’t know what is.

Images provided by Kyle Hytonen

With low-budget indie films, it’s really a hit or a miss on what you’re going to get. We can surely say this one was a hit. A perfect tribute to campy slashers we know and love that exuberates authenticity and love for the genre. Good acting, comedic relief, an easy storyline to follow, and well-done shots comprised this film into what it has become today. A little fun fact we wanted to add was that “Massacre At Femur Creek” was actually a short film created back in 2014, also by Kyle Hytonen. It’s always rewarding when you see something that has potential and gets turned into a full-length feature.

We wanted to thank Kyle and everyone behind this project for giving us the chance to check out and review Massacre At Femur Creek. Support indie films and give this one a shot!

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