COLLECTOR'S CRYPT - CHRISTMAS CRUELTY (UNEARTHED FILMS BLU RAY)
Holiday horror movies are kind of like comfort food, you don’t want to watch them too often so they don’t lose their appeal, and usually reserve them for special occasions. In fact, I wonder how many horror fans watch holiday horror movies outside of the November and December months. Are they still as much fun when you watch them in the middle of summer, or does the seasonality of the films themselves make them most enjoyable during the right time of year? Regardless of when you indulge in these festive fright films, one thing is for sure, there are plenty of them out there to go through. Every year it seems we get more and more holiday horror films to nibble on during the coldest months of the year. Just this December alone there are 2-3 holiday horror and horror adjacent films being released in theaters and on VOD. While I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, it goes without saying that not every film is made equal. Even non-horror holiday films struggle with lopsidedness around quality, and sadly horror is not immune to this dilemma. This is why we are covering UNEARTHED FILMS' newest release of the Norwegian holiday horror film, CHRISTMAS CRUELTY. Is this extreme horror from the land of heavy metal a lump of coal or just what holiday horror fans have been asking for?
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
Follow a serial killer and his victims as they all prepare for Christmas in their own ways. This year it doesn't matter if you have been naughty or nice, Santa is coming to town no matter what, and he knows where you live.
HOW IS IT?
***Spoiler and Trigger Warnings Ahead***
I’m a pretty forgiving person when it comes to film reviews. I’m fairly open-minded, and even if I don’t like something I seldom ever attack the film or the creators for it as well as try to find some things worth celebrating. With respect to extreme horror, the kind UNEARTHED FILMS tend to traffic in, my interest is always piqued. Regardless of how obscene or disturbing the content can be, there is still something to be appreciated either at the technical level or at the narrative level. The truth is that just because something is “extreme” doesn’t mean that it is objectively any better than other horror movies, and their intention is often more to shock you than it is to scare you. Nevertheless, I can find something to enjoy in most of these movies, except for CHRISTMAS CRUELTY.
CHRISTMAS CRUELTY is a baffling film in a lot of ways, but the most direct one is regarding the style of the film. There is a lack of coherence from the get-go that is hard to shake and is made even harder by how the movie is edited and filmed. The opening scene is as depraved as one would expect from UNEARTHED, but it is so lackluster in its attempt to shock that it just comes off as weird. Given the focal point of the film, and our main character is a basically nameless serial killer it’s expected that what is shown will certainly turn some viewers away. The thing is, even the most obscene thing at the start of the movie feels like an absolute joke. What is supposed to be a shocking scene of a baby getting sawed in a cradle comes off as more edgelord than extreme, and then we basically follow a group of people doing nothing until the last act where our killer re-emerges on the holiest of nights to deck the halls with boughs of blood. What we then get is a lot of murder, rape, murder, rape, and repeat. Frankly, it loses all of the impact because there is nothing to care about or care for in the film. Even bleak films like these require some sort of empathy or connection to draw the viewer in. Otherwise, you’d be better-served reading/watching MINDHUNTER to get a better perspective on how serial killers operate and what they are capable of.
The most egregious part of CHRISTMAS CRUELTY is hands-down the editing. The entire movie is shot like a really bad music video with overlong musical interludes, odd cuts, sporadic zooming, and a litany of amateur-hour edits that make the viewing experience damn near unwatchable. To put this in perspective, the final 20 minutes of Gaspar Noé’s CLIMAX are far more watchable than the 96 minutes of CHRISTMAS CRUELTY. If the intent was to show the scatterbrained nature of a serial killer, it would help to introduce the camera as that POV rather than just make some weird editing choices. What’s fascinating about this is that most of the time the problems with extreme horror start with how depraved they can be, but in this case, while the film tries hard to offend it mostly just trips over those attempts because of how the whole thing is put together. I really wanted to find something to enjoy about this, and even at 96 minutes, this was a total slog to get through since very little happens between the start of the film and the last act. The characters are all written as if they came off the pages of a MAD Magazine and their dialogue is not just cringe-worthy, it’s downright stupid. The harshness at which I’m judging this film comes from the fact that taken altogether, these problems make CHRISTMAS CRUELTY quite boring, and I never thought I’d say that about an UNEARTHED FILMS release.
HOW DOES IT LOOK?
CHRISTMAS CRUELTY is presented with an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 and the movie looks quite nice in HD. It’s a newer film (2013), so it isn’t a candidate for a major restoration and is just fine as is. Most of the effects are practical and look quite good with bright crimson reds, but the scenery is mostly drab and dull so don’t expect the full-color spectrum on screen. You can see screen grabs from CHRISTMAS CRUELTY used throughout the review and featured below:
HOW DOES IT SOUND?
CHRISTMAS CRUELTY features a 5.1 DTS-HD audio track which is surprising considering how little the film makes use of it aside from when there is music playing. It’s a solid audio track and the speaking language is Norwegian so English subtitles are included.
ANYTHING SPECIAL?
99.9% of the time I watch the special features on these discs, even if I don’t really like the movie. This time, I couldn’t bring myself to it for one reason; there is a 3+ hour documentary on this disc about the making of the film. It’s split into three very uneven parts with the first one being 2 hours and 40+ minutes while the others are between 10-20 minutes. I cannot fathom that there is over 3 hours worth of things to talk about with regard to CHRISTMAS CRUELTY, and considering how much I disliked the movie I had zero interest in learning anything about it, especially if I would have to watch over 160 minutes of documentary to do so. That said, for those that do enjoy this and want to know more about it, you should enjoy the depth that I’m sure the extras get into. A full list of special features is listed below:
Audio Commentary with Per-Ingvar Tomren and Raymond Volle
'How Cruelty Changed Our Lives' Featurette
Interview with Morten Haagensen
'Endless Highway' music video by The Last Rebels
Press Conference
Bloopers
Watch-a-long with Flesh Wound Horror
'Tradition' short film
Teaser Trailer
Photo Gallery
LAST RITES
CHRISTMAS CRUELTY is an extreme holiday horror film that is more naughty than nice, but not in a good way. Poor editing combined with terrible pacing makes this a chore to get through, and it’s hard to recommend to anyone especially when there are far better holiday horror movies out there.
THE GORY DETAILS
Thank you to the fine fiends at MVD ENTERTAINMENT for providing a review copy for the crypt, and you can purchase CHRISTMAS CRUELTY now via MVD DIRECT!
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