COLLECTOR'S CRYPT - COLD HEAVEN (RONIN FLIX BLU RAY)
One of the most unfortunate aspects of being a horror fan is you often develop trust issues with box art. For those who grew up in the video store era, all we had to go on was the promise made by the cover art. Sure, the synopsis on the back would tell us what the movie was about, who was in it, and any supporting quotes of a complimentary nature. If it were a weighted decision it was probably 80/20 with cover art representing the latter and everything else the former, at least for horror movies. Sadly, this kind of logic was completely ineffective and wildly unpredictable. Some movies have gone so far as to have covers that are barely reflective of the film within them and were more misleading than helpful. Without IMDB or Letterboxd we were left to trust studios, video store employees, and friends to find the cream of the crop. Now, within seconds we can know the entire history of a film and draw a conclusion if we want to invest our time. Still, with boutique labels constantly improving the quality of physical media packaging we are once again finding ourselves seduced by the art on the outside and disappointed with the art inside. Sometimes it’s not the cover art, but the credentials that draw your interest. As we begin to develop a sense of our favorite filmmakers we also begin to trust the artist blindly by taking in their work solely on a brand name. This is the case this week in the crypt as we take a look at RONIN FLIX’s release of the psychological religious thriller COLD HEAVEN, directed by none other than DON’T LOOK NOW’s NICOLAS ROEG. Is this a godsend for your collection or should it simply rest in peace?
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
Seduction, deception, and death all lead to the ultimate test of an unfaithful woman's love and fate when her deceased husband inexplicably comes back to life.
HOW IS IT?
DON’T LOOK NOW is one of the best horror films of the 70s, and for some, one of the best of all time. Most horror fans know of NICOLAS ROEG because of DON’T LOOK NOW and so when his name is attached to something even remotely mysterious, fantastical, or horrific it is easy to have an intrinsic interest in whatever movie it is. Unfortunately, this kind of blind participation doesn’t always yield the best results and COLD HEAVEN is such a case. While it bears a wonderful technical presentation, it is the story that feels off and candidly boring. Not as much a “horror film” as it is a supernatural drama, COLD HEAVEN is a joy to look at as long as you can keep your eyes open long enough to take in how well-made it is.
The story in the synopsis above is pretty spot on without divulging too much information on the “reveals” at the end. This is a soap opera-style drama about a love triangle that ultimately ends with one of the three dies in an accidental boating accident. This all happens within the first 15 minutes of the film, and from there we follow Marie as she begins to start her new life with her sidepiece only to have that upended by her husband leaving the morgue and finding her after being presumed dead. For a movie that is almost 2-hours, most of this is revealed before the halfway point and what we end up getting is a lot of Marie running between priests and her deceased(?) husband trying to make sense of what’s going on. There is a lot of subtext about faith, miracles, and oddly fidelity. I don’t know how religious or even of what faith Roeg is, but the source material for this story (Based on a book by Brian Moore) feels overly religious in a Joel Osteen kind of way. The preachiness of the story and its beats are only multiplied by an ending that is so on the nose you might think you’re watching some form of Catholic propaganda. While it doesn’t ruin the movie, it doesn’t help it when it so dearly needs all the help it can get.
The biggest sin a movie can make is to be boring. While there is a lot of subjectivity to what is considered “boring”, there is plenty of common ground on what constitutes a boring movie. COLD HEAVEN commits this sin egregiously, but in such a technically impressive way that you can’t outright hate it. The cinematography is beautiful and the performances are genuine, but the story is just so middling and uninteresting that it’s hard to care about what’s going on and when it’s going to be over. Once Marie’s thought-to-be deceased husband Alex comes back, he spends most of the time on a bed, and her kneeling by his side so they can talk. This interaction may be true to reality, but it isn’t interesting to watch and the film spends a lot of time in that space. The very heavy-handed commentary on faithfulness both to religion and to marriage makes a villain out of Marie only to try and redeem her in the most cliche of ways and realize the error of her ways. There is little time spent on actually trying to understand why Alex came back from the dead at a scientific level which could have been an interesting throughline to cut the melodrama with, but alas it is brushed away and explained away with a shrug and a smile. It’s hard to recommend COLD HEAVEN to anyone except Roeg purists, and even then, maybe you wanna read up about it before you just trust the cover.
HOW DOES IT LOOK?
COLD HEAVEN is presented in its original widescreen aspect ratio of 1.85:1 and the picture is crisp and clear. The style of the film and the way it’s shot do give it a kind of hazy/cloudy feel, and the softness is not overdone with this transfer. Screenshots from the disc are used throughout the review and are seen below:
HOW DOES IT SOUND?
Nothing special to note here with a Dolby DTS-HD 2.0 audio track along with English subtitles. The sound for the film is mostly dialogue and not action driven, and the loudest parts are featured in the soundtrack. A serviceable audio track and once again, thank you to RONIN FLIX for including a subtitle track.
ANYTHING SPECIAL?
This a pretty bare bones release with the only supplemental feature consisting of theTheatrical Trailer.
LAST RITES
COLD HEAVEN is a well-made film that suffers from a supremely meandering plot that over indexes melodrama without ever really going anywhere meaningful with it. The religious overtones and messaging may be a turn-off for some, even if it isn’t offensive, and unless you are a Nicolas Roeg superfan COLD HEAVEN is an easy pass.
THE GORY DETAILS
Thank you to the fine fiends at MVD ENTERTAINMENT for providing a review copy for the crypt, and you can purchase COLD HEAVEN now via MVD DIRECT!
Stay up to date with “The Dark Side Of Pop Culture” by following MacabreDaily on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
