COLLECTOR'S CRYPT - SCREAM (DARK FORCE 4K UHD) REVIEW
When it comes to quality, the horror genre doesn’t always deliver the best and brightest. To be fair (to be faiiiirrrrrr), this is not unique to horror so much as it is more prominent in that genre. Much of that could have to do with the economy of production which explains why you often never see a shortage of new releases on platforms like TUBI. There is a saying that we subscribe to here in the crypt that “no one sets out to make a bad movie”, and while it is easy to believe this generally speaking every now and then a film comes along that tests our convictions. Sometimes it’s a movie that feels like it solely exists to capitalize on a trend, and sometimes it is studio interference or lack of budget to fully realize a vision. Regardless, bad films are often the victim of bad choices rather than intentional attempts to derail the production, generally speaking. When it comes to BRYON QUISENBERRY’s 1981 slasher, “SCREAM”, a lot of ideas come to mind. Sharing a name with 1996’s meta-slasher classic from horror maestro WES CRAVEN does this slasher from the 80s give “so bad it’s good” vibes or “so bad it’s bad” ones?
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
A group of friends on a rafting excursion happen upon a deserted town and decide to spend the night. But after someone is murdered, it appears that this ghost town is not as deserted as they thought. They desperately try to escape but their rafts are destroyed. One by one, the campers are eliminated by the mysterious killer. What possible hope of survival can they have with no escape and no one around to help?
HOW IS IT?
When reviewing movies, it is a personal best practice to not look at reviews before I watch the film. Call me old fashioned, but over time my expectations are often my own worst enemy when it comes to enjoying movies. It’s the same reason to avoid trailers, especially for films that you are anticipating. Immediately after I finished SCREAM I checked Letterboxd to find that the average score for this film is 2.4 out of 5 stars. Call it confirmation bias, but there was a wave of reassurance upon seeing this to maintain a sense of balance and reason in this increasingly complex world. SCREAM is quite possibly the most boring slasher ever, and it really shouldn’t have been.
The premise of SCREAM is really the shining star if you can call it that, in this galaxy of tiredness. Even though it wasn’t released until 1983, well into the beginning of the end of the slasher craze, the idea of a group of rafters getting stuck at an abandoned 19th-century town is ripe with possibilities. It could go THE FOG route and have a possessed town of pissed-off outlaws terrorizing this group, or even a straight-up slasher with lore tied to the town’s abandonment. Instead, we get a lot of waiting around and unclear storytelling. Every single kill happens off-screen, and at no point was there any investment in these characters and what happens to them. When it comes to slashers, the most basic two elements are an interesting killer and characters you can invest some level of interest in. Either you want to see them dead or you want them to live, maybe a mixture of the two, whatever works for you. You can miss one of these as long as the other picks up the slack, and with SCREAM, both balls are dropped in a historically uninteresting fashion.
Even the worst movies have some redeeming qualities, intentional or not, and as a reviewer, the job is to find out what those are and place them next to the things that don’t work as well. Sadly, SCREAM doesn’t really do itself many favors in this regard since so much about the movie is forgettable. Our brains are wired to remember a litany of complex bodily functions to ensure that we live, and we have some space left for remembering various facts, behaviors, and practices to live and work as best as we can. So when it comes to movies that are as bland as SCREAM, it is insanely easy for the brain to simply forget everything it sees as soon as you see it. Part of the problems with this film has something to do with the quality of the video, which we will get to next, and the best way to describe the overall experience with SCREAM is to explain it as “a slasher film made by the hallmark channel”.
HOW DOES IT LOOK?
DARK FORCE ENTERTAINMENT is somewhat of a controversial label in the boutique blu ray community. Just check out their social media accounts if you want a sense of how “engaged” the proprietors are with their customers. This is a judgment-free zone here at the crypt, and we give every label the opportunity to put their best foot forward for us to provide feedback on. In the case of SCREAM’s 4K UHD transfer, it is a bit of a mess. While we cannot attest to the quality of the original 16mm negative, what can be said is that other labels have handled similarly rough materials in the past to greater success than this. The quality of the film itself is at best, mid-tier blu ray and not something that looks to be benefiting from the 4K UHD properties. There is a lot of grain, and the overall film is extremely dark despite claiming “extensive restoration” and “color correction”. This may look better than it did before, however, it isn’t near to the quality of peers such as VINEGAR SYNDROME, SEVERIN, ARROW, SCREAM! FACTORY, etc. You can see images from this release below:
HOW DOES IT SOUND?
Surprisingly, the audio mix for SCREAM is better than average. The 2.0 DTS-HD audio is crisp with great leveling for both the dialogue as well as the music. Speaking of the music, this has to have some of the strangest musical choices for a slasher film. Opting for muzak-style smooth jazz that you’d hear in a department store mid-80s is not the ideal mood setter for a slasher.
ANYTHING SPECIAL?
The back of this disc claims to have a few special features which do not actually appear on the disc. There is an audio commentary with director BRYON QUISENBERRY, but the “Maria’s B-Movie Mayhem” mode as well as the original Theatrical Trailer seem to be absent. This is a pity since I feel like the film may have benefited from some type of TV-host interplay to liven up the film and provide potentially interesting and/or funny commentary.
LAST RITES
SCREAM is bland, boring, and downright forgettable. In the world of slashers, only the absolute collectors who must own them all should venture down this path of mediocrity.
THE GORY DETAILS
Thank you to the fine fiends over at MVD ENTERTAINMENT for providing a review copy for the crypt! Scream (1981) is available NOW and can be purchased via MVD DIRECT!
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