'KNIFE OF ICE' - 88 FILMS BLU RAY REVIEW
THE PLOT
A mute woman (CARROL BAKER) finds herself at the centre of a series of murders in the mountains of Spain, which police suspect are being committed by a drug-addled, sex maniac Satanist
THE REVIEW
Listen, I don’t gravitate towards Italian horror/thrillers made between 1970 and 1993 because I want to watch a good movie. No, I gravitate towards them because I want to see incoherence and incompetency. The metric by which I rate a “good” Italian horror/thriller is not a metric by which I would rate, say, THE TERMINATOR. The only way a movie like this could fail is if a) it wasn’t incompetent, b) it wasn’t incoherent, c) it had terrible pacing, and d) it didn’t have much blood n’ murder. As it stands, KNIFE OF ICE only lets itself down when it comes to point D, but we can happily look past that since points A-C are so favourable.
The only pussy-shot you’re likely to find in this movie. Thankfully.
Martha (BAKER) is mute and has been since the age of 13 when, after being thrown from an out-of-control locomotive by her own father - - full transparency here; I honestly expected to see this played out in flashback and I was disappointed when that didn’t happen because we all know Italian movies handle moments of emotional trauma with all the sensitivity of a concentration camp gynaecologist. I wanted to see an under-stuffed dummy being launched from a speeding train and I didn’t get that which is lame - - she witnessed her parent’s fiery, railway death. Now living with her Uncle Ralph (GEORGE RIGAUD), a part-time(?) “expert” on the occult and occult practices, in his hill-top “mansion” in Spain, she is beset by an unknown force which is murdering those closest to her. The police are quick to apportion blame to a lunatic sex maniac - - their conclusion is based on absolutely nothing but the fact that two victims are women. There is no mention of sexual assault, the bodies are not found naked and/or molested in any way, the police have literally just decided that it’s a sex maniac FOR. NO. REASON - - but as the bodies pile up, the identity of the murderer may be more shocking than they first thought…
KNIFE OF ICE is to the concept of cinema what hammers were to Yorkshire prostitutes in the 1970’s. It is bafflingly stupid, poorly edited, badly written, and hilariously soundtracked. The good news is that seasoned fans of Italian horror/thriller cinema will react to the frequent snap-zooms, plot inconsistencies, under-delivered line readings, and over-abundance of dumb-as-dildos red herrings with glee. The bad news is that it doesn’t even come close to delivering on the blood n’ murder front which is especially surprising when you consider its director, UMBERTO LENZI, who produced two of my blood and stupidity spattered favourites, zombie “shocker” NIGHTMARE CITY and “gritty” Poliziotteschi actioner ROME ARMED TO THE TEETH.
Executed with all the professionalism and precision of a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen lake, KNIFE OF ICE, while not an entirely essential Giallo, is a worthy instalment in the greater pantheon of Mediterranean cinematic madness. Oh, and word to the wise, please be mindful of 88 FILMS’ particular brand of hyperbole when it comes to their releases before making any hasty decisions. I’ve come to learn the hard way that what’s on the back of the box (in this case; Knife of Ice (1972) is a quintessential piece of early 70s Gialli creepiness. Dreamlike, brutal and beautifully presented Lenzi’s movie delivers a wonderfully creative mystery replete with a typically European twist in the tail) ain’t necessarily the truth.
Pictured: “dream-like & beautiful” (makes jerk-off motion)
THE PRESENTATION
Not much can really be said about a transfer of a film which was originally shot on toilet paper, nor can one really laud the crystal clear quality of that foggy filter that’s applied to the screen when a “lady-of-a-certain-age” has a close up, BUT it would be unfair to say that this looks terrible when it clearly doesn’t. The long and short of it is that you’re only going to squeeze so much out of these original film elements, and I’ve yet to see an 88 FILMS release which falls short of the mark. If we extend the presentation of the film to the physical package itself, we can find more to talk about in a positive way. 88 FILMS have, in the past, been able to put together physical releases which are just a fraction above “vanilla”, but they’re really outdoing themselves these days. The rigid slipcase/poster combination is a winner, and I’m glad that they’re starting to make their “collector’s items” more…well, collectory. True, they seem to be exerting much more effort on their Hong-Kong cinema releases, but I ain’t complainin’ about that. Not in this case, anyways. It’s KNIFE OF fucking ICE for God’s sake. Who cares?
THE SPECIAL FEATURES
2K Transfer from the Original Negative in 2.35:1 Aspect Ratio
High Definition (1080p) Presentation
2.0 English LPCM Mono 2.0 Italian LPCM Mono with Newly Translated Subtitles
Audio Commentary by Giallo Expert Troy Howarth and Critic Nathaniel Thomson from Mondo-Digital.com
"Yellow is the Colour of Fear" - An Interview with Critic Marcus Stiglegger
"Dressing to Kill" - An Interview with Costume Designer Silvio Laurenzi Il
Cinema Kriminal Di Umberto Lenzi - Part 1
Italian Credits Sequence
English Theatrical Trailer
KNIFE OF ICE is available to buy right now, this second, from 88 FILMS and is limited to 2,000 units (with rigid slipcase, poster and book of writings)
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