Obscurities to Own: MVD Entertainment Edition
For my fellow collector’s the past year + pandemic has been an embarrassment of riches. We have been asked to spend more time at home, and horror/cult/obscure labels have been releasing an onslaught of films ranging from top-tier trash to forgotten-for-a-reason guilty pleasures. It’s not the money that does you in, it’s running out of space, but it’s also a drain on our wallets. I digress….
What I’m trying to say is that even though parts of the world are re-opening, there are still lots of reasons to stay home and be highly entertained. Instead of anxiety-scrolling through streaming services over a combination of old movies, you don’t care to re-watch and new movies you’re afraid may be a waste of time. As I’m sure most of you reading this know, horror fans are quite generous when they discover a relatively obscure film that they think others haven’t heard of. As the man with the chocolate-covered pretzels might say, “and one good turn deserves another” and so in the same spirit, it’s time to share the love for one of my favorite labels: MVD Entertainment.
MVD has a series of sub-labels that cover more than just horror, but when it comes to horror they embrace the full spectrum. Below are five titles that you should absolutely have in your collection, and while I could certainly list more I know all of us aren’t buying blus on a Bezos budget. So I hope you enjoy these, and if you don’t, I guess that’s cool too!
EYE SEE YOU / D-TOX (2002)
Best Letterboxd Review: “The closest Hollywood got to making an Umberto Lenzi giallo: Kinda stylish, one fun eyeball based gimmick, and zero gore. In other words, a pretty forgettable monsterless version of THE THING that stars the lovable Sly Stallone (not yet looking monstrous himself).”
Courtesy of Justin Decloux
Reason to Watch: There is a damn good imitation of a “Se7en-esque” kill early on that is pretty brutal involving a hogtie. Probably the most brutal the movie gets, and there is the original film included (D-Tox) which has the director’s cut albeit in Standard Definition. I haven’t watched it, but maybe I’ll get drunk and do that.
One-Sentence Pitch: A drunk Sly is hunted by a cop-hating serial killer at the absolutely worst run detox center, outside of Florida, and it’s run by Kris Kristofferson.
MIKEY (1992)
Best Letterboxd Review: “The kind of movie I have a hard time giving a rating to, because while it’s really poorly made, it’s so damn entertaining. I mean, we’re talking about a movie where they can’t even keep the wardrobe straight and shirt colors totally change same within the same scene, like that level of ineptitude.”
Courtesy of Matt
Reason to Watch: Remember the kid from “Blank Check”? There’s a good chance you don’t, but you get to see him electrocute his mom in the bathtub in the first 10 minutes of this movie. In fact, there’s more kills in this movie’s first 10 minutes than some do in an entire 120 minutes.
One-Sentence Pitch: If Chucky was a real boy, and looked like his name was “Trevor”, this would be the story of his life.
THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING (1989)
Best Letterboxd Review:
“-the LA dating scene is so rough that Heather Locklear fucked Swamp Thing like she didn’t even think about it
-this is the level of over the top and camp that every comic book movie should be
-put swamp thing in the justice league you cowards”
Courtesy of brady childs
Reason to Watch: If you grew up watching a lot of USA and/or Sci-Fi Channel in the 90’s there is a good chance you have seen this film so many times, but it’s been so long you can’t remember it. This movie is a blast, just don’t take it seriously. Great movie to watch with friends and laugh, and the makeup/foam monster work is tops!
One-Sentence Pitch: Honestly, if you don’t want to see it after the Letterboxd review above nothing I will say will change that.
SPLIT SECOND (1992)
Best Letterboxd Review: “A city under water and a killer on the loose. Wades around in B-movie yuck but never commits enough to get its hair wet. And yet it's fun, Rutger is surprisingly funny, and the monster wears sunglasses.”
Courtesy of Ian Stanley
Reason to Watch: If you’re a sucker for Rutger, and I bet you are, then there is almost nothing to dislike about this. It’s a violent, weird, and perfect harmony of clichés and wild swings dancing in time..and the monster design is really cool, even if you only see it for a bit.
One-Sentence Pitch: The film’s actual tagline is, “HE’S SEEN THE FUTURE. NOW HE HAS TO KILL IT.” which is both spot-on and yet not entirely true.THE CHURCH (1989)
BRAM STOKER'S SHADOWBUILDER (1998)
Best Letterboxd Review:
“Michael Rooker plays a badass twin pistol-wielding priest who has to combat some really unimaginative CGI.
Has its moment. I wish they were executed with a little more flair.”
Courtesy of Justin Decloux
Reason to Watch: I wrote something in my notes about “DEMON DOG DOOR KILL FTW!” which I can’t recall for the life of me what that meant. It sounds cool, but I was too lazy to go back and watch this to find it. I’m not clear on this, but I have a hard time swallowing the “Bram Stoker” part of this movie. Anyways, it’s actually a lot of fun and better than the poster for it would lead you to believe.
One-Sentence Pitch: Michael Rooker playing the same priest as James Woods did in John Carpenter’s Vampires...which came out the same year like this one. Who copied who?
Well, that’s it! I hope you enjoy these movies, and if you don’t I’m sure you will forget about them and rewatch them in another 2-3 years thinking you haven’t seen them before. Maybe you’ll like it more at that point, or you watch it enough times that you think you like it so it’s money well spent just earned with patience!
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